16 Things That Happen In March When You Don’t Care About Basketball

Because Buzzfeed hasn’t written this post yet and it must be said… 

1. 95% of your evenings are spent like this


2. Your friends asks if they can use you to fill out an extra bracket for their class/work/family pool

3. Your social life becomes confined to living rooms and a lot of crowded bars

4. People will ask who you’re rooting for in a game

5. And if they push for an answer you’re just going to pick the colors/mascot you like best.

6. You discover that your friends have depths of sports trivia and knowledge that hides 11 months out of the year and suddenly comes pouring out of them like a volcanic explosion that you must be the recipient of.

7. You’re thankful to have social media to entertain you while everyone else is watching the games…

8. Never mind.  It’s now become a ESPN newsfeed.

9. You dare to ask why a first round game is even important… Since when did ALL 64 teams become relevant? And everyone around is all…

10. You reminisce about the Super Bowl, because at least that game comes with snacks, funny commercials, and a halftime show… and did I mention snacks?

11. Everyone around you is having an invested conversation about the game that you pretend you’re listening to, when really you’ve become lost in thought considering the academic lives of the players

12. You question your friend’s sanity, as they are all betting their money on a bunch of 19 year olds. And Lord knows you wouldn’t want anyone betting that kind of money on you when you were that age.

13. Someone says “my bracket is ruined!” for the 100th time and you have to act surprised and frustrated with them even though you know there’s an upset that ruins everyone’s bracket EVERY YEAR.

14. You suggest watching a show or a movie you’ve been looking forward to, but instantly get shot down.

15. You hear someone say that march madness boosts camaraderie in the office

16. And finally, at your breaking point… you decide to try to make an effort… you’ll keep up, maybe pay attention this game…. only to realize that the person in control of the remote is a serial channel flipper and there are multiple games on.

But hey, march will be over soon enough… and there’s always candy crush.

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